Previews (Opening this Weekend):

Valentine’s Day

Julia Roberts, Jaime Foxx

 

Apparently, the title Groundhog Day was already taken. This year, Warner Brothers is taking aim at Valentine’s Day with, well, the aptly titled Valentine’s Day, a romantic comedy chocked full of more stars than a roofie-laced viewing of It’s a Mad Mad Mad Mad World! Everybody from Oscar winners (Roberts, Foxx) to Teen Beat cover stories (Taylor Swift, Taylor Lautner) are starring in this love-in from Garry Marshall, the director of Pretty Woman. In this PG-13-rated rom-com, however, the lives of several Angelinos (Jessica Alba, Kathy Bates, Jessica Biel, Bradley Cooper, Eric Dane, Patrick Dempsey, Hector Elizondo, Foxx, Jennifer Garner, Topher Grace, Anne Hathaway, Ashton Kutcher, Queen Latifah, Lautner, George Lopez, Shirley McClaine, Emma Roberts, Julia Roberts, Swift) intersect on the greeting card industry’s biggest day. The Plus: The players. Marshall not only helmed some of the industry’s hugest big-screen comedies (Runaway Bride, The Princess Diaries), he also masterminded the small screen classics The Odd Couple, Happy Days, and Laverne & Shirley. With the cast listed above, he should be able to give moviegoers flowers and chocolates a la He’s Just Not That Into You. The Minus: The competition. Last week, romantic drama Dear John surprised industry insiders when it beat Avatar to the number one position. Between this surprise hit and The Wolfman, Valentine’s Day has an uphill battle at the box office this weekend.

 

The Wolfman

Benicio Del Toro, Emily Blunt

 

Time and time and time again, Universal Studios’ stable of horror icons have been remade for the MTV Generation. 1931’s Dracula has gotten this treatment countless times, most notably with 1992’s Bram Stoker’s Dracula. Likewise, retreads of 1931’s Frankenstein (1994’s Mary Shelly’s Frankenstein) and 1932’s The Mummy (1999’s The Mummy) have seen the light of night, er, day. Now, 1941’s The Wolf Man gets the remake treatment. In this as-yet-unrated remake of the Universal horror classic, Lawrence Talbot (Del Toro) is lured back to his family’s estate following the death of his brother only to find a feral destiny awaiting him. Anthony Hopkins stars as Talbot’s father. The Plus: The players. Del Toro took home a Best Supporting Actor Oscar for Traffic and Anthony Hopkins (who plays Talbot’s father) took home top honors for The Silence of the Lambs while Blunt was nominated for The Devil Wears Prada. Under the direction of Joe Johnston (Jumanji, The Rocketeer, Jurassic Park 3), these celebrated actors should help to give birth to a modern classic. The Minus: Bad buzz. First, after nearly a year in the director’s chair, Rick Romanek (One Hour Photo) leaves the project over creative differences in January, 2009. Then, under Johnston, the release date of April, 2009 was pushed back to November and finally to February, 2010. Perhaps, this could be a bad sign for moviegoers.

 

Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Lightening Thief

Logan Lerman, Brandon T. Jackson

 

Talk about a God complex. Though director Chris Columbus actually sold his first script while still in college, he would eventually go on to pen some memorable films for almighty producer Steven Spielberg (Gremlins and Goonies among them). Scriptwriting for H’Wood deities, however, gave him his directing break with Adventures in Babysitting. Hit (Home Alone) after hit (Mrs. Doubtfire) would follow, but it was for helming the first two Harry Potter films (The Sorcerer’s Stone and The Chamber of Secrets) that Columbus saw some wrath-of-God box office triumphs. In his latest, this PG-rated family drama based Rick Riordan’s children’s books, Greek god Poseidon’s half-human son (Lerman) embarks on a quest to unravel a mystery reputed to be more powerful than the gods themselves. The Plus: The players. As the success of both Home Alone and Harry Potter demonstrated, Columbus has a knack for both comedy and effects-heavy material aimed at a demographic younger than 18-35. Even so, he has Uma Thurman (Kill Bill), Pierce Brosnan (Mamma Mia!), Rosario Dawson (Seven Pounds), Sean Bean (The Hitcher), Steve Coogan (Tropic Thunder), and Catherine Keener (Where the Wild Things Are) joining unknowns Lerman, Jackson, and Alexandra Daddario. The Minus: The odds. Columbus has stumbled before (I Love You, Beth Cooper) and stumbled big (Rent). Also, if young couples are dividing their time between Dear John and Valentine’s Day, older couples are working their way through the Oscar nominees, and single guys are fawning for Avatar and The Wolfman, who’s left to show Percy Jackson any love at the box office?

 

Reviews (Now in Theaters):

 

Dear John

Channing Tatum, Amanda Seyfried

 

This reviewer had hoped to include a joke involving the blink-and-it-was-cancelled ‘90s Judd Hirsch sitcom Dear John entertaining audiences more than the just-released 3-hanky drama it shares a title with (and he actually just did, clever boy). But truth be told, the new Dear John deserves more credit than that…not MUCH more, mind. It sweeps and swoons with an all-too-familiar rhythm but the ace cast ratchets up the emotion. Stories like this are supposed to be somewhat standard (indeed, the script’s worst infraction occurs when it paints outside these lines), but all involved work overtime to keep tissue companies in lucre.

 

In this PG-13-rated romantic-drama, time and distance take their toll on two young lovers—a soldier home on leave (Tatum) and the conservative college student that he’s fallen in love with (Seyfried).

 

Okay, so it’s no Love Story. Considering that that dated ‘70s weeper aged poorly, however, Love Story was no Love Story either. Dear John not only includes a modern bent (he re-enlists in the Army after the events of 9/11), it also taps into a genre that rarely gets, ahem, tapped these days—romantic dramas. With The Hangover giving moviegoers a good laugh these days, this average pic merely gives them a good cry. Its B.O. success hammers home the fact that – even with enough tear-soaked horrors in the world – audiences still love sad tales about star-crossed lovers. The third act puts out some dubiously dodgy plot points, but Tatum, Seyfried, and especially Richard Jenkins (playing Tatum’s father) nearly sell the wares to audiences wholesale.

 

Down to the Wire: Dead letter.

 

Crazy Heart

Jeff Bridges, Maggie Gyllenhaal

 

Very recently, this reviewer and wannabe musicologist started researching and collecting the classic songs that made Nashville famous. Unlike modern Country’s synthesized rockabilly, the legendary hits of Country-Western music were never about studio magic—they were about storytelling and voice. Not unlike these lyrical masterpieces, the amazing ballad Crazy Heart is all about story and voice, wearing them on its sleeve as would a whiskey-drenched showman looking at 70. And like a Merle Haggard, Waylon Jennings, and/or George Jones tune, there is enough substance here for three characters. In the hands of a master actor, however, the heart of Crazy Heart comes out in spades and oh, how sweet the sound!

 

In the R-rated drama Crazy Heart, broken-down hard-living country singer Bad Blake (Bridges) reaches for salvation through a journalist (Gyllenhaal), who is on a quest to find the real man behind the musician.

 

Bridges has already been nominated for an Oscar 4 times (Best Actor: Starman; Best Supporting Actor: The Last Picture Show, Thunderbolt and Lightfoot, The Contender), but will rightly win for his performance of Bad Blake. It is not a gold watch for a lifetime of H’Wood service. It proves to be as heartfelt and gob-smackingly true a performance as the real-life turns given by Haggard, Jennings, and Jones in their respective songbooks. It helps that Bridges keeps perfect cadence with the straightforward direction and warts-and-all script of Scott Cooper. Backed with excellent turns by Gyllenhaal, Colin Farrell, and Robert Duvall – as well as a killer soundtrack – this Heart sings a beautiful song.

 

Down to the Wire: Crazy in love.

 

From Paris With Love

John Travolta, Jonathan Rhys Meyers

In this poorly acted and executed R-rated actioner, Steven Segal – oops, sorry - Travolta stars as a wisecracking, sharp-shooting, high-ranking U.S. agent sent to France to stop a terrorist attack with a button down wet-behind-the-ears operative in tow (Rhys Meyers). This new release was slotted for a big review on the facing page, but it doesn’t even deserve the ink generated here. It’s as if someone went into a video store, gathered up all of the passed-over Direct-to-DVD action movies and culmed together a vehicle for Vinnie Barbarino and Henry VIII from the most clichéd parts. Even Pierre “Taken” Morel’s slick direction can’t make Travolta’s tubby bald creep a credible action star. And now, this reviewer just counts down the words he needs for this review to make it to print—3…2…1.

 

Down to the Wire: Forget Paris.

 

Avatar

Sam Worthington, Zoe Saldana

 

In this PG-13-rated 3-D, revolutionary and rousing popcorn instant classic, a paraplegic ex-Marine (Worthington) who, through a scientific process funded by the U.S. government (Sigourney Weaver, Michelle Rodriguez, et al), appears as a blue-skinned indigenous being on an alien world housing an extremely rare and profitable element. Never forsaking the script, Avatar’s landmark 3-D IMAX-ready bells and whistles merely enhance the well-envisioned drama and action. Beyond all this, the movie manages to wear a social consciousness (go green, people) without sermonizing. Here, writer/director James Cameron also gives a lesson in filmmaking economy. Even with an epic-length story, the writer/director never wastes an inch of film or lick of time in the 2 hours and 40 minutes it takes to tell this story. Better effects will follow, but not a better mantle.

 

Down to the Wire: Out of this virtual world.

 

Edge of Darkness

Mel Gibson, Ray Winstone

 

In this R-rated thriller, a veteran Boston homicide detective and single father (Gibson) investigates the murder of his only daughter, uncovering a shadowy maze of corporate cover-ups and government collusion in the process. Finally, there is a BBC mini-series that adapts into a remarkably engrossing political thriller with a winning amount of social consciousness for the American screen! Moviegoers can find it in video stores under the name State of Play. Uneven export Edge of Darkness, however, is another matter. This Mel Gibson thriller starts off most resembling Ransom and ends up most resembling Conspiracy Theory…and this is certainly not a compliment. Padded with enough twisty hokum for, well, a mini-series, this flick’s action scenes prove a welcome respite from an overall muddled plot that simply thinks too much.

 

Down to the Wire: This Playback’s a bitch.

 

Legion

Paul Bettany, Dennis Quaid

 

In this R-rated thriller that takes itself WAY too seriously, Archangel Michael (Bettany) helps a group of strangers in a desert diner (Quaid, Lucas Black, Tyrese Gibson) shepherd in the birth of a waitress’s baby while a legion of angels sent by God try to bring about the Apocalypse. Zombie movies have become their own sub-genre and Legion closest resembles the worst of these (once inhabited by angels, humans become craven flesh-eating savages that can only be felled by damn-good marksmanship) complete with villains that look like video game holdovers. When a plot sounds worthy of USA’s “Up All Night” and has religious symbolism that whacks moviegoers over the head, thine tongue need be planted firmly in cheek. Sadly, wannabe B-movie Legion doesn’t have a sense of humor about itself or mankind’s last stand.

 

Down to the Wire: Hells-a-poopin’.

 

The Tooth Fairy

Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson, Ashley Judd

 

In this PG-rated family flick, a hard-hitting pro hockey player (Johnson) is ordered to serve one week of hard labor as a Tooth Fairy for dashing a young boy’s hopes, complicating his relationship with his girlfriend (Judd) and her kids. Predictable, sappy, and cloying, this happy pill takes moviegoers on a familiar journey (hello, Santa Clause!). Thankfully, the Mouse House realizes this and puts some winning touches on the property (with one scene, Billy Crystal practically steals the whole movie with a one-liner-heavy routine). This seems like quite a feat considering that the dependable 20,000-watt smile of charisma-oozing-out-of-every-pore The Rock is carrying this color-by-numbers flick. His Tooth Fairy proves enjoyable at times…just don’t drink the Kool Aid too long or you’ll taste the poison.

 

Down to the Wire: You can handle the Tooth.

 

When in Rome

Kristen Bell, Josh Duhamel

 

In this PG-13-rated romantic comedy that will actually make moviegoers want to drown the entire genre in Moon River, a disillusioned New Yorker (Bell) travels to Rome where she plucks coins from a magical fountain and attracts a host of odd-duck suitors (Jon Heder, Will Arnett, Dax Shepard, Danny DeVito). Even if the insipid dialogue clogs the flow for the audience, Bell and Duhamel’s Meet-Cute will lure them back in for the waterworks … and this is a bad thing. The couple has chemistry, but this rom-com’s traditional feel quickly takes on a magical bent that becomes more cartoony (think: The Three Stooges Go Around the World in a Daze) than enchanting (think: Roman Holiday). Worse, the camera goes out of focus at least once and another scene doesn’t match its lead-in!

 

Down to the Wire: Rome is crashing and burning.