From the pages of Electric City and Diamond City, two of Northeastern Pennsylvania’s premier arts and entertainment publications, comes Richlier founder Jeff Boam’s special Summer Movie Preview:

 

Every filmgoer remembers their first. And though this may bring to mind some PG-13-rated memories of grappling with Mary Jane Filmgoer’s training bra on a night out to the Multiplex during your junior high days, ‘first,’ in this case, actually refers to a movie—as in the first movie you remember seeing in the theater.

 

Your reviewer remembers his: Cannonball Run at the General Cinema in June, 1981. Given how utterly campy this kitschy piece of ‘70s fluff actually is, it seems like an unremarkable answer for a persnickety movie reviewer and award-winning filmmaker to level at the question before him. But this is a completely honest response! Your reviewer’s brother recollected that our mother took us to see Star Wars in re-release sometime before this, but – fortunately or unfortunately – Cannonball Run is the first answer that memory serves.

 

Surely, if your reviewer WAS going to lie, he would come up with something cleverer than a B-grade romp about an illegal coast-to-coast car rally car race starring Dean Martin, Sammy Davis, Jr., Farrah Fawcett, Roger Moore, Dom DeLuise, and a beer-soaked Burt Reynolds. But you have to understand that my father really enjoyed auto racing, dear readers…REALLY enjoyed—like with the exuberance that pimply faced fanboys reserve for comic books these days. And at that time, all of Cannonball Run’s scenery-chewing hi-jinks proved monumentally entertaining even if this paycheck-cashing extravaganza nowadays plays out like Circus of the Stars on a used car lot.

 

Screenings of The Empire Strikes Back and Raiders of the Lost Ark soon followed, but Cannonball Run – though an inauspicious start - holds a special place for your reviewer so far as filmgoing. For a 5 year-old in 1981 American suburbia – right before cable TV started making home movie-watching accessible to a mind-rotting degree - it seemed pretty damn cool. It was your reviewer’s ‘first,’ after all…and it was also a summer movie.

 

Ah, the summer months! Never mind barbecuing outside with friends or hitting the shore points with the family. These sun-soaked days largely exist for H’Wood to throw some big-budget popcorn blockbusters toward the entertainment-starved masses! If last summer was any indication, the studios are finally embracing an emphasis on explosions AND story (Iron Man and Dark Knight, anyone?). Based on the list of upcoming films below, this season is shaping up to be quite the corker. But do not just take your reviewer’s word for it…some local celebrity-types have been asked to pipe in with their thoughts.

 

X-Men Origins: Wolverine (May 1)

Hugh Jackman, Liev Schreiber

 

The last time that Wolverine unfurled his cutlery in X-Men: The Last Stand, that particular X-Men chapter clawed its way to the trilogy’s biggest box office payday yet ($234 million). Fans, however, were less than thrilled about the quality (the third entry ranks less than X-Men or X2: X-Men United on The Internet Movie Database’s Popularity Poll). Critics too – including this one- were mostly unkind. 20^th Century Fox hopes that by delving into the past of a lead character, the series will see a creative return to form. In this PG-13-rated prequel to the hugely successful X-Men series, the violent and romantic past of Wolverine (Jackman) – including his transformation into a metal-clawed mutant – is explored. The Plus: The franchise. Despite the critical response, the last film DID pull some impressive numbers for Fox…enough to have them prepping an X-Men Origins: Magneto and X-Men: The First Class as follow-ups to Wolverine. Advance ticket sales are breaking records set by other super hero movies. The Minus: The players. Jackman has never been able to open a film big that did NOT have an “X” prefixing the title. Also, there were rumors that director Gavin Hood may have had some interference from studio execs…and this is never a healthy sign.

 

The Static: “I actually liked the first X-Men but my tolerance for Hugh Jackman vanished with this year’s Oscars embarrassment.” - Alicia Grega, EC Current Events Editor

 

“Hugh Jackman ain’t just singin’ and dancin’ in THIS one.” - Marko Marcincko, Musician/Educator

 

“Hugh Jackman’s upset the film was leaked over the Internet in early April. Let’s hope it’s not because he’s afraid the public will find out it’s a steaming pile of crap before it hits theaters.” – Randy Shemanski, EC Editor

 

Star Trek (May 7) 

Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto

 

In H’Wood-speak, a ‘remake’ involves filming a perfectly good movie over just because the original now seems dated to studio execs (see: Psycho); a ‘re-imagining’ involves an ego-driven younger director remaking an older movie because he/she feels that they could do better the original (see: The Wicker Man); and ‘reinvention’ involves starting from scratch when remaking and reimagining have already run their course (see: Batman Begins). In the case of Star Trek (the 11^th film in the franchise), J.J. Abrams (creator of TV’s Alias and Lost) is taking dead aim at reinventing a sacred piece of pop culture with a whole new take on its iconic characters…and a lot of lucre. In this PG-13-rated reboot of the legendary sci-fi franchise, the origins of the young U.S.S. Enterprise crew (Pine, Quinto) are explored amid a vicious Romulan attack. The Plus: The players. Abrams is not only a television wunderkind (add Felicity and Fringe to those credits), he is also an acclaimed movie producer (Cloverfield) and director (Mission: Impossible III, the best entry in THAT franchise) as well. Paramount is so bullish that they have already slated another Star Trek sequel for 2011. The Minus: The expectation. With a reported budget of $150 million, the film will have to open at number one AND fight off Wolverine to turn a hefty profit and warrant said sequel.

 

The Static: “This is not your father’s Star Trek”. – Marcincko

 

“I definitely want to see Star Trek just because Sylar from Heroes looks just like Spock. I think the kid playing Captain Kirk looks strabismic (a medical term, the layman’s definition being “He’s got one good eye and the other one’s lookin’ at it.”), but my wife says I never have anything nice to say about a TV show or movie with a young, good looking guy in it. I’m sorry. I don’t buy kids who look just slightly older than my paperboy in big boy roles. (See: Leonardo DiCaprio).” – John Webster, Rock 107 Radio Personality

 

Angels & Demons (May 15)

Tom Hanks, Ewan McGregor

 

Dan Brown’s novel Angels & Demons is, as readers already know, a prequel to his international bestseller The DaVinci Code. So far as producer Brian Grazer and director Ron Howard are concerned, however, Angels & Demons is a sequel. Set after the events of their blockbuster smash The DaVinci Code, Angels sees the return of Tom Hanks as cryptologist Robert Langdon. And come September, filmgoers will get a sneak peek at Langdon’s next film adventure when Brown’s latest novel, The Lost Symbol, hits bookstores. In Angels, a PG-13-rated thriller, Langdon is called in to investigate after a mysterious group known as Illuminati hatches a nefarious plot to blow up the Vatican. The Plus: The players. Despite the fact that critics bristled at the result, The DaVinci Code made filmgoers a believer…to the tune of $217 million. Its Oscar-winning director (Howard, A Beautiful Mind) and Oscar-winning star (Hanks, Forrest Gump) surely had a heavy hand in this success. A change of hairdo for the latter’s character is another plus. The Minus: The competition. When DaVinci bowed in May, 2006, its stiffest competition was Mission: Impossible III (then in its third week) and the kid-flick Over the Hedge. Wolverine and Star Trek will not be lying down for Angels.

 

The Static: “I read the book. Without saying too much, I’m not sure how the ending will play out on the big screen, so moviegoers should be forewarned.” - Shemanski

 

Bruno (May 15)

Sacha Baron Cohen

 

Though he was educated in Israel and ultimately graduated from the upper crust and altogether proper British university known as Cambridge, Sacha Baron Cohen made a name for himself as a controversial, anti-Semitic, and altogether rude television interviewer. Cohen’s hip-hop-loving, Albanian, on-air alter-ago connected so well with British viewers that the hysterically over-the-top character was given his own show, Da Ali G Show. From this program (which he would later take across the pond to HBO), Cohen developed other popular characters including over-sexed racist Kazakhstani reporter Borat and the star of his latest film comedy, Bruno. In his R-rated follow-up to Borat, Cohen again terrorizes an unsuspecting public as a flamboyant Austrian fashion expert. The Plus: The players. Cohen proved a hit with critics and audiences alike when Borat became the comedy hit of summer, 2007 ($128 million). The director, famed comedy writer/director Larry Charles (TV’s Seinfeld, Curb Your Enthusiasm), has also returned for Bruno. Based on the trailer, they are serving up more of the same hilarity. The Minus: The expectation. Borat became such an instant classic that it will be hard for this second act to meet filmgoers’ lofty goals.

 

The Static: “The only movie on this list I’m excited about is Bruno. Sacha Baron Cohen is a mad genius. I’d watch him pick his nose.” – Grega

 

“I am totally psyched for Bruno. If he can make people believe that he was a culturally- retarded third world traveler as he did in Borat, then I can’t wait to see his new ruse: a gay Austrian fashion expert! I’m sure it will be politically incorrect which will make me want to see it even more. In fact, I might just sashay on down opening night! We need something funny in these times!” – Jumpin’ Jeff Walker, 98.5 KRZ Radio Personality

 

Terminator Salvation (May 21)

Christian Bale, Sam Worthington

 

While critics and audiences alike saw the now-classic Terminator and its 1991 blockbuster sequel Judgment Day as revolutionary filmmaking, the follow-up (Rise of the Machines) proved another story altogether. Though the film ultimately netted Sony back its investment capital, its production never had the blessing or guidance of franchise creator James Cameron. It also marked star Arnold Schwarzenegger’s retirement from acting. As Empire recently pointed out, however, Rise’s apocalyptic can’t-avoid-destiny closer did put forth possibly the best ending of the series…and set up this further continuation. In the PG-13-rated Salvation, John Connor (Bale) is leading mankind’s war against the machines just as the arrival of a stranger (Worthington) threatens to alter the future of humanity. The Plus: The new players. Bale already has one legendary franchise under his belt (Batman Begins, The Dark Knight) and can surely shoulder another. Also, director McG (Charlie’s Angels) has made a believer out of fanboys with a trailer so compelling that it erases any memory of Rise of the Machine. The Minus: The old players. Cameron – though he reportedly suggested actor Worthington to McG - still has not given his blessing. Also, after much flotsam and jetsam, there is still no confirmation that Schwarzenegger will be returning…in the series that made him an icon.

 

The Static: “Salvation can’t come soon enough for me, please!” – Marcinko

 

“Batman as John Connor? Say it isn’t so!” - Shemanski

 

Up (May 29)

Voices of Ed Asner, Christopher Plummer

 

After 10 successful, groundbreaking, animated films (A Bug’s Life, Monsters, Inc., Cars), Disney-owned Pixar Animation seems that it can do no wrong. In fact, the Mouse House will follow its latest new release with re-releases of old favorites in digital 3D. Look for Toy Story and Toy Story 2 to hit three dimensions very soon (October 2, 2009 and February 12, 2010, respectively)…just before the brand-spanking-new entry Toy Story 3 hits theaters next summer. In the latest G-rated Pixar film, a grumpy old man (Asner) escapes from society with a balloon-powered house only to find a stowaway aboard (Jordan Nagal). The Plus: The studio. In addition to being money makers, the Pixar films are also Oscar award-winning fans of critics as well (Finding Nemo, The Incredibles, Ratatouille, and WALL*E all took home the trophy for best Animated Film). The Minus: Consumer confidence. Wall Street investors have publicly aired their skepticism as to Up’s prospects creatively and financially in this blockbuster-driven summer.

 

The Static: “The old man is grumpy and the kid is cute…an up, up, and away hit for Pixar.” - Marcincko

 

Land of the Lost (June 5)

Will Ferrell, Danny R. McBride

 

Brothers Sid and Marty Krofft may not have household names, but their offbeat family television programs surely made a mark on any child of the ‘70s. Rife with colorful puppets and psychedelic imagery, their prolific roster of Saturday morning programs (Sigmund and the Sea Monster, H.R. Pufnstuf) was capped by their most memorable success, ABC’s 1974-76 hit Land of the Lost. In this PG-13-rated re-imagining of that low budget program, three explorers (Ferrell, McBride, Anna Friel) find themselves thrust into a strange world of dinosaurs, monkey people, and reptilian Sleestaks. The Plus: The players. Again (Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy) and again (Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby) and again (Step Brothers), Ferrell has proven to be a box office piped piper, luring comedy-craving filmgoers to the theaters in droves. Also, director Brad Silberling has done big-budget family entertainment before and done it well (Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events). The Minus: The material. Filmgoers approaching middle age - possibly even with their own tykes in tow - are not exactly clamoring to revisit EVERY facet of their childhood (Underdog, anyone?). Fortunately or unfortunately, the Krofft brothers are back to acting as producers on a project that may have lost its viability in 1976.

 

The Static: “Sleestaks, T-Rex and Will Ferrell telling Matt Lauer he can “suck it!” I don’t know—sounds like fun to me!” - John Mikulak, producer/director, The Man Who Would Be Polka King (European World Premiere in June)

 

The Taking of Pelham 123 (June 12)  

 Denzel Washington, John Travolta

 

As a rule, classic films should not be remade. If the original was somewhat lacking in quality, however, there have been some select times when a fresh set of eyes did wonders with the material. Take Ocean’s Eleven, for example. Though the original boasted the likes of The Rat Pack in all of their booze-swilled glory, the end result surprisingly lacked a lot of punch. Steven Soderbergh’s inspired remake, however, proved to be one of the smartest and cleverest heist capers in years. Sony is hoping for an Ocean-sized payday with a new take on the little remembered 1974 Walter Matthau/Robert Shaw thriller The Taking of Pelham 123. In this R-rated remake, a New York City subway dispatcher (Washington) becomes the unwitting pawn of a criminal mastermind (Travolta) out to hijack a subway car full of civilians. The Plus: The players. Washington (Inside Man, American Gangster) and Travolta (Hairspray, Wild Hogs) have enough star wattage between them to open a dog food commercial at number one. Also, director Tony Scott is certainly no slouch in this department either (Spy Game, Man on Fire). The Minus: The competition. This film has exactly one week to clean up before Transformers swoops in and wipes out the box office.

 

The Static: “Being a ‘70s film freak, I’m embarrassed to say I’ve never seen the original. However, with the less talented Scott brother at the helm of the remake, I have a hunch the film will include tons of long-lens shots, overused gradiated filter effects, maybe some stylized strobed slo-mo and will most likely suck!” - Mikulak

 

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (June 24)

Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox

 

Back in 1986, animators were working overtime to bring audiences Transformers: The Movie, an adaptation of the TV cartoon series and children’s toy starring no less than the voice of Citizen Kane impresario Orson Welles. Then, some 21 years and innumerous pimply faced virgins later, computer animators worked overtime to bring director Michael Bay and executive producer Steven Spielberg’s vision of the popular plaything to the screen…to the outstanding tune of $319 million at the American box office. Now, in this PG-13-rated sequel, Transformers stars LaBeouf and Fox re-team with friendly robots-in-disguise for an action-packed globetrotting battle against a gi-normous baddie from their home planet. The Plus: The potential franchise. Transformers decimated the international box office as well and put toymaker Hasbro in the good graces of their stockholders. The Minus: The expectation. The film reportedly has a budget of $200 million, which is quite a nut to make back, so…hello, is anybody still there? Oh drat, you’re already lining up for tickets, aren’t you?

 

The Static: “The first one rocked and Megan Fox is SMOKIN’! Count me in!” - Shemanski

 

Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs (July 1)

Voices of Ray Romano, Queen Latifah

 

In 2002, 20^th Century Fox had a mammoth hit on its hands with the family ‘toon Ice Age. 2006’s Ice Age 2: Meltdown gave audiences more of the same but did even better for its parent studio, nearly breaking the $200 million mark in the U.S. Fox is hoping for a three-peat when Manny the Mammoth and friends step back into theaters this summer. In this third installment of the animated Ice Age series, Manny (Romano), Sid (John Leguizamo), Diego (Denis Leary), and Ellie (Latifah) return to face their new pre-hysteric neighbors. The Plus: The players. Joining Romano (whose been around since the beginning) and Latifah (a holdover from Meltdown) are Denis Leary (TV’s Rescue Me), John Leguizamo (Righteous Kill), Seann William Scott (Role Models), and Simon Pegg (Star Trek). The Minus: The odds. Both Ice Age and Meltdown opened in the cool days of March when the box office competition was not nearly as hot as in the summer months.

 

The Static: “I secretly love animated films. I’ll watch Shrek or Ice Age anytime they’re on.  But I’ve noticed that as the studios try to turn these films in franchises (everything is a trilogy these days) the quality of the movies degrades severely. Look, I have no illusions. I’m going to see a talking mammoth run for his life from a T-Rex—this won’t be Oscar fare!  But by and large these sequels are about as entertaining as John Ashcroft at a dance marathon…which is to say, not very.” – Sam Falbo, film/theater actor

 

Public Enemies (July 1)

Johnny Depp, Christian Bale

 

Though Bryan Burroughs’s hard-hitting book Public Enemies: America’s Greatest Crime Wave and the Birth of the F.B.I., 1933-34 is cited as this film’s source material, director Michael Mann reportedly first took a stab at scripting the adventures of legendary bank robber and lothario John Dillinger soon after directing his breakout 1981 hit Thief. As with many H’Wood projects, it got pushed to the backburner. In the meantime, however Mann went on to direct Heat, Collateral, and Miami Vice, so there is no doubting his credentials as to crafting crime thrillers like Public Enemies…and just to prove it, he is also credited as one of the screenwriters. In this R-rated true crime drama from Mann, Dillinger and his gang blaze a trail through the American heartland with G-Man Melvis Purvis (Bale) hot on his trail. The Plus: The players. Mann is a tour-de-force filmmaker with a specialty for crime (modern classic Heat ends all arguments). His handpicked cast, however, includes Depp (Pirates of the Caribbean), Bale (The Dark Knight), Oscar-winner Marion Cotillard (En Vie en Rose), and Channing Tatum (Step Up). The Minus: The material. Bio-pics of this ire usually pop up in the fall when H’Wood is rolling out its award-baiting fare—not the popcorn blockbuster months.

 

The Static: “The last time I got stoked for an on-screen pairing like this, that movie was called Righteous Kill. To say I’m skeptical is an understatement. And the odd choice of scenes they put together for the trailer hasn’t done anything to make me feel like this movie will be as good as I want it to be. But I’m going to see it. Depp and Bale re-enacting a famous cops and robbers story has got to be good, right?” - Falbo

 

“Heat is one of my all-time favorite movies and we all know what Depp and Bale are capable of, so the potential could be endless.” - Shemanski

 

“Christian Bale is in Terminator Salvation and Public Enemies. I hope he’s not going to use that Christian Bale pretending he’s Clint Eastwood pretending he’s Batman voice in these movies too.” – Webster

 

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (July 17)

Daniel Radcliffe, Ralph Fiennes

 

When the final Harry Potter novel hit bookstores in July, 2007, Muggles half-heartedly prepared themselves for the closing chapter in J.K. Rowling’s phenomenonally successful young wizard series. In terms of films, however, Warner Bros. still has one installment yet to go into production after this…better make that two. The studio has decided to split Potter’s seventh outing, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, into two separate films, with Part I due in 2010 and Part II due in 2011. In Half-Blood Prince, the PG-rated sixth chapter of the Harry Potter series, another year at the Horwarts wizard school convenes under the looming threat of Lord Voldemort’s (Fiennes) return. The Plus: The franchise. The five films already in release magically conjured up over a billion dollars worldwide. David Yates, who directed the critically acclaimed fifth entry to the tune of $292 million (The Order of the Phoenix), has returned to stoke the cauldron fire. The fact that he and the original cast are already signed for the last installment speaks well for the series’ commencement. The Minus: The delay. The film was originally due to hit theaters last November, but Warner Bros moved it to this summer. Though last year’s writer’s strike is chiefly to blame (with few other big prospects in development, the WB was left with a sizable gap in the money-making summer months), any number of reasons could actually be behind the studio’s decision—including creative.

 

The Static: “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince? I am more excited about seeing the beginning of James T. Kirk’s adventures than the end of Harry Potter’s.” – Frederick G. Ott, Box Office Assistant, Arden Theater, Philadelphia

 

Funny People (July 31)

Adam Sandler, Seth Rogen

 

With former TV staples Star Trek and Land of the Lost set to hit movie screens this summer, filmgoers are left to ponder the film prospects of their other favorite programs … like, say, the critically acclaimed but little watched Freaks and Geeks? When executive producer Judd Apatow launched the ’80s high school dramedy on NBC back in 2000, he did not have the back-to-back successes of 40-Year-Old Virgin and Knocked Up under his belt yet. But he did help to launch more than a few careers including those of ER’s Linda Cardellini, How I Met Your Mother’s Jason Segel, Spider-Man’s James Franco and - one of the stars of his latest - Seth Rogen (Observe and Report). In the R-rated Funny People, writer/director Apatow presents the bittersweet story of a legendary comedian (Sandler) who begins rethinking his life after a brush with death. The Plus: The talent. Apatow is a veritable hit machine. In addition to those projects listed above, the man has also produced Superbad, Step Brothers, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, and Pineapple Express. Also, Sandler (Click) and Rogen (Aliens vs. Monsters) can open this film big on their names alone. The Minus: The odds. Apatow has also produced the coolly received comedies Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story and Drillbit Taylor. Also, Sandler’s last comedy, You Don’t Mess with the Zohan, did not fare as well as expected at the box office. Eventually, every funnyman bombs.

 

The Static: “Will Adam Sandler get 20 million for yet another variation on his crowd-pleasing mentally challenged Canteen Boy/Bobby Boucher character?” - Webster

 

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (August 7)

Dennis Quaid, Channing Tatum

 

Since launching the first footage of G.I. Joe in a spot that aired during the Super Bowl, Paramount gave audiences a glimpse into what their ‘Real American Heroes’ would like on-screen. Following in the mega-successful footsteps of Transformers, The Rise of Cobra is based on the popular line of Hasbro action figures that first launched in 1964. In this PG-13-rated adventure, an elite covert military organization (Quaid, Tatum) does battle with a mysterious terrorist operation called Cobra and their main arms dealer, Destro (Christopher Eccleston). The Plus: The material. If G.I. Joe is given the same time and attention as Transformers, the sky is the limit so far as franchise potential. Also, director Stephen Sommers has already had great success with big-budgeted actioners (The Mummy). The Minus: The unknown. But this film, unlike Transformers, does have Steven Spielberg on board as executive producer. Also, other than the Super Bowl spot, filmgoers have seen nothing of G.I. Joe…and the footage that was already screened did not exactly build huge anticipation.

 

The Static: “I’ve been waiting for this movie to happen since I was 5. I’m not always an action film guy, but - for this one - I’ll be in line the first day.” – Kyle Brannon, writer/director, Still (www.richlier.com); Asst Professor, American University

 

Inglorious Basterds (August 21)

Brad Pitt, Eli Roth

 

In emulating the schlocky drive-in double features from the ‘70s, indie mavericks Quentin Tarantino (Jackie Brown) and Robert Rodriguez (Sin City) put together a Grindhouse two-fer to die for…only nobody came. Though Tarantino’s entry Death Proof was eventually given some plaudits by critics after a longer cut was released on DVD, the movie’s financial stall was seen as the first chink in this auteur’s armor (both Kill Bill chapters had netted healthy returns for Miramax). In Tarantino’s latest, the R-rated World War II film Inglorious Basterds, Lieutenant Aldo Raine (Pitt) leads an unscrupulous team of Jewish-American Nazi hunters (Roth, B.J. Novack) into German-occupied France. The Plus: The players. Tarantino gave film audiences Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction, for Chrissakes, so his long-gestating World War II film deserves John Q. Filmgoer’s full attention. Also, having fan favorite Pitt (Mr. and Mrs. Smith, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button) on board this project can only help matters. The Minus: The odds. At two hours and forty minutes, Basterds is going to have to fight hard to get filmgoers into the theaters during the last dog days of the blockbuster months.

 

The Static: “I love the World War II film genre. Kelly’s Heroes is one of my favorite films of that vintage and this movie seems to have that kind of vibe. The potential exists for Tarantino to turn this into a campy, B-movie-slasher film that just happens to be set during World War II by overdoing it with the gore. I mean, did you see that trailer? But after the disappointment that was Valkyrie I need to see a good WWII pic and I’m in for this one.” - Falbo

 

“Inglorious Bastards with Brad Pitt has B.J. Novack as a Nazi hunter? I better get my suspension of disbelief booster shot before I buy that ticket.” - Webster

    

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From the pages of Electric City and Diamond City, two of Northeastern Pennsylvania’s premier arts and entertainment publications, comes Richlier founder Jeff Boam’s weekly column:   

Previews (Opening this weekend):

17 Again

Zac Efron, Matthew Perry

 

Ah, H’Wood, you never disappoint! Rather than continue its distinction of churning out nothing but sequels and remakes in the weeks leading up to summer, the industry has mixed it up a bit with 17 Again. Three words: Big in reverse. In this PG-13-rated comedy, a middle-aged father (Perry) wakes up and realizes that he has magically turned 17 all over again (Efron)—and without the extensive use of Botox. The Plus: The players. Efron is an integral part of the hugely successful High School Musical series and has gone on to star in the mega-hit musical Hairspray as well. There is no denying HIS star wattage, but co-stars Perry (TV’s Friends), Leslie Mann (Knocked Up), and Michelle Trachtenberg (TV’s Gossip Girl) should ‘up’ the ante. The Minus: The odds. Every year, American popcorn cinema looks to break out of the gate earlier and earlier with a “wham bam thank you, ma’am” smash hit meant to act as a pace car in a three-month race of style over substance. This year, that film was April 3^rd’s Fast & Furious. Next, add last week’s number one opener Hannah Montana into the mix. Now, add the three high-profile new releases opening this week and the box office is already over-crowded and it is not even Memorial Day yet! Even if 17 Again magically opened at number one, the multiplex will be spread too thin for it to become an out-and-out blockbuster.

 

Crank 2: High Voltage

Jason Statham, Amy Smart

 

John Q. Filmgoer has to hand it to writer/directors Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor. In Crank, which was about a poisoned hitman who must keep his heart rate up to stay alive, they left us with a hero who plummeted from a high-rise to the pavement… quite dead. Now, however, they have concocted a hook so kooky that it has to be read to be disbelieved: In this R-rated sequel to the supercharged comic actioner, Statham plays a hitman whose heart has been replaced with a mechanical ticker that requires regular jolts of energy to keep him on the run from a Mexican crime boss. The Plus: The franchise. Though his CV includes some respectable earners (The Bank Job), Statham has done particularly well with The Transporter franchise. Crank’s grosses may not have exactly warranted a sequel (just shy of $28 million in the U.S.), but – then again – H’Wood history has shown that some follow-ups have enough momentum to trump their predecessors on opening weekend (Fast & Furious, anyone?). The Minus: The odds. In the overcrowded B.O., there is little chance for this unwarranted R-rated sequel to shine through all of the other B.O. shinola—especially when the first chapter never achieved blockbuster status.

 

 State of Play

Russell Crowe, Ben Affleck

 

In H’Wood-speak, when a film credits multiple screenwriters using commas followed by an “&” sign, it means that they collaborated on the material together. When each name is separated by “and,” however, it means that each writer worked independently on the screenplay, albeit probably from another’s draft. State of Play’s producers employed the latter tactic with Matthew Michael Carnahan (Lions for Lambs, The Kingdom) AND Tony Gilroy (The Bourne Series, Michael Clayton) AND Peter Morgan (The Queen, Frost vs. Nixon) AND Billy Ray (Shattered Glass, Breach) each taking a whack at adapting the acclaimed BBC mini-series of the same name. In this PG-13-rated political thriller, a Washington, DC journalist (Crowe) uncovers a deadly conspiracy involving his friend, a star congressman (Affleck) whose mistress has been brutally murdered. The Plus: The players. Crowe (3:10 to Yuma, American Gangster) and Affleck (Smokin Aces, He’s Just Not That Into You) have enough marquee name power to open a dog food commercial at number one. Just in case, however, director Kevin MacDonald (The Last King of Scotland) has Helen Mirren (The Queen, National Treasure: Book of Secrets), Rachel McAdams (The Notebook, Wedding Crashers), Robin Wright Penn (Unbreakable, Beowulf), and Jason Bateman (Juno, Hancock) to fall back on. The Minus: The odds. In an overcrowded B.O., there is little chance for this star-studded political thriller to meet high expectations—especially when the film is reportedly budgeted at $60 million…before marketing costs.

 

Reviews (Now in theaters):

 

Hannah Montana the Movie

Miley Cyrus, Bill Ray Cyrus

 

There comes a time in every man’s life when he admits to himself that the idea of Superman using Clark Kent as a secret identity is actually a steaming piece of Kryptonite. He just loses the cape, adds some glasses, and the lemmings of the world are supposed to buy it hook, line, and stinker, right? But disbelief is readily suspended …because Superman is a freakin’ American icon. For teen singing sensation Hannah Montana and her alter-ego Miley Stewart, however, a lot less latitude need be extended. A blond wig on a moppet cannot disguise this movie from anything other than what it truly is: a flimsy excuse to spur more music and toy sales from the Montana-obsessed kid set.

 

In this G-rated musical-comedy spawned from the Disney Channel series, a young musical superstar (Miley Cyrus) heads to her Tennessee hometown after her popularity begins to take over her alter-ego’s life.

 

The plot (insert guffaw here) ultimately hinges on Montana/Stewart hanging it all up…but before her decision hits the audience with a deadening ‘d’uh,’ she bursts into songs, pratfalls and puppy love galore. It is supposed to have low humor and a simplistic story for a younger audience—yes, your reviewer gets it. But families deserve better than a bargain basement script and scenery-chewing cast. The film is less I Love Lucy’s infamous grape-stomping scene and more just the stomped grapes. There is always a song break, however, as if to remind pint-size filmgoers that the soundtrack is available to download for a nominal fee.

 Down-to-the-wire: Achy breaky crap.

 

Observe and Report 

Seth Rogen, Anna Faris

 

A slow starter that gets fall-down funnier and more discomforting as it plays out, Observe & Report marks a high (or low) point of the modern comedy-as-Shock Theater. Unlike The 40-Year-Old-Virgin or TV’s The Office, which thrived on prolonged uncomfortable moments, Observe & Report operates as one perpetual uncomfortable moment. While most comedies give filmgoers a choice of a punch to the face (intellectual), stomach (knockabout low humor), or extremities (raunchy gross-out humor), this movie amazingly levels all three in one-follow swoop. But – in a time when your average everyman is stretched to the breaking point between the economy and the state of world – this type of humor has an amazing and guiltily satisfying follow-through.

 

In this R-rated comedy, a self-important head of shopping mall security (Rogen) squares off in a turf war against local police officers (Ray Liotta, et al).

 

During the film, there were many moments at which your unflappable reviewer sat slack-jawed at the sight of the shock tactics unfolding on screen. It goes beyond simple sex and violence; this is a case of sexual and physical assault upon the funny bone. And while this sounds rather disconcerting, filmgoers will find themselves relishing the many hysterical moments in the duplicitous way a blatantly offensive joke in condemned and laughed at in the same breath. This humor works so well because writer/director Jody Hill and star Seth Rogen are not trying to be shocking just for the sake of being shocking—it is just a sign of the bluntly honest times.

 

Down-to-the-Wire: Shockingly hilarious. 

Adventureland

Kristen Stewart, Jesse Eisenberg

 

In this R-rated intelligent dick and fart coming-of-age comedy with a great hook, an uptight recent high school grad (Eisenberg) is forced to slum it and take a minimum wage gig at a local amusement park. Your reviewer grew up in the ‘80s zeitgeist that permeates Adventureland, a pop culturally lush time with little moral grounding. The carnival atmosphere of the titular amusement park does wonders to illustrate the ups and downs of its lovelorn main character during one particular summer. Like many of the adults in the film, HE cannot get a bead on being a pert of the Me Generation either. The soundtrack rocks, the stars hit their marks, and it is all headed to the expected conclusion. But what a way to go!

 

Down-to-the-Wire: Great adventure.

 

Fast & Furious

Vin Diesel, Paul Walker

 

In this PG-13-rated sequel, two former rivals (Diesel, Walker) reunite to outmaneuver a drug trafficker. So much disbelief has already been suspended before strapping into this high-octane actioner that the film series could pretty much pull a Moonraker – incorporating Saturn rockets for modified cars on a racing circuit – and filmgoers would shrug if off in-between gulps of popcorn. Amazingly and infuriatingly enough, it nearly maxes out this line of credit…but not until first diverting the audience’s attention away from such pish-posh as the laws of physics and common sense with enough bright colors and shiny things to light up the eastern seaboard. Oh, it is a lemon of a story, but the after-market trappings will doubtlessly keep filmgoers invested so long as the adrenaline rush keeps up.

 

Down-to-Wire: Slow-wit ride.

 

The Haunting in Connecticut

Virginia Madsen, Elias Koteas

 

In this PG-13-rated thriller, a family plagued by supernatural events (Madsen, et al) discovers that their house is a former mortuary with a dark past. The film begins with the proclamation ‘Based on the true story’ and continues to wear this boast like an Olympic medal throughout 94 painful minutes. This obviously untrue story is so silly that it makes The Amityville Horror look like Gone with the Effing Wind. Every trick in the horror book is used….if the book is a Boris Karloff coloring book. It is not frightening save for the moment the audience leaves the theater and realizes they just lost over an hour and half of their lives watching Casper shit the bed.

 

Down-to-the-Wire: Six feet under.

 

Knowing

Nicolas Cage, Rose Byrne

 

In this PG-13-rated thriller, Cage plays a professor who stumbles upon a time capsule with terrifying predictions about the future. Early on, Knowing shows great promise, giving filmgoers a calculated thriller predicated on the fact that a series of numbers could predict every major catastrophe in the earth’s history. It soon gives way to fantastical sci-fi phooey, however, and ultimately offers up about as much suspense as a broken calculator. The problems boil down to the screenplay, which has more chefs than a reality TV cook-off show. It will doubtlessly bait discussion (as all good art should), but the film’s set-up as a mathematics-derived psychological thriller held that much MORE promise.

 

Down-the-Wire: Fuzzy math.

 

Monsters vs. Aliens

Voices of Reese Witherspoon, Seth Rogen

 

In this PG-rated ‘toon, a motley crew of mutant heroes (Witherspoon, Rogen) is recruited by the government to save the earth from an evil alien invasion. Like a can of pop, Monsters vs. Aliens offers viewers a quick-fix sugar rush full of zing and bubbly…but also some empty calories. It has bombastic and smart alecky down pat—and the loveable knuckleheads to back it up. This flick tends to zero in on just the funny bone as opposed to the heart AND the funny bone. It is zinger-filled fun, yes, but the tiring effort hardly leaves the lasting impression of the better-rounded Pixar films. Brimming with some jokes that work and others that fall flatter than Lindsay Lohan’s career, the film needs star wattage to keep filmgoers invested.

 

Down-to-the-Wire: Monster mashed.

 

Race to Witch Mountain

Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson, Carla Gugino

 

In this PG-rated family adventure, a Las Vegas cabbie (Johnson) and UFO expert (Gugino) shepherd two young runaways with supernatural powers away from an alien assassin and a government agency. This anemic sci-fi kid flick that would have been shot back into space were it not for the bankable personality of its star, a man who apparently has enough star wattage to light up the eastern seaboard. Channeling the trippy model rocket whimsy of the ‘70s Witch Mountain low-budgeted twofer (Escape and Return, respectively) with a NASA-sized budget, director Andy Fickman gives filmgoers a romp that is, at times, too repetitious and involved (does the audience really need our heroes chased by the assassin, government agents, AND the cabbie’s former mob boss?).

 

Down-to-the-Wire: Rock of crud.

 

No comments

From the pages of Electric City and Diamond City, two of Northeastern Pennsylvania’s premier arts and entertainment publications, comes Richlier founder Jeff Boam’s weekly column:  

 

 

Previews (Opening this Weekend):

 

Dragonball Evolution

Chow Yun-Fat, Emmy Rossum

 

Based on the popular Japanese manga series (think: comic books drawn with the eye-popping colorful abandon of a sugar cereal box), the live action Evolution truly follows in some animated footsteps. Japan has already exported three cartoon series to the U.S.—Dragon Ball, Dragon Ball Z, and Dragon Ball GT (think: kids’ shows rendered with the eye-popping frenzied abandon of a sugar cereal commercial). Plus, there have also been trading cards and video games galore (think: a eye-popping toy surprise from a package of sugar cereal), which begs the question: Can a sugar cereal be far behind? In this PG-13-rated fantasy adventure, Goku (Justin Chatwin) and his friends (Rossum, Joon Park) use DragonBalls to summon the power of a mighty dragon to combat an evil force sweeping across the universe. The Plus: The franchise. Since 1984, Dragon Ball has remained a consistent part of Japanese and American pop culture. This speaks somewhat for the potential viability of this film’s success. The Minus: The gamble. Fast and Furious broke box office records last weekend and – with Hannah Montana and a raunchy comedy rearing their heads – the target audience for a film of this ire will be spread thin.

 

Hannah Montana: The Movie

Miley Cyrus, Bill Ray Cyrus

 

Disney has already minted its own money with Hannah Montana, an uber-successful family sitcom about the comic misadventures of a young girl, her rockstar alter ego, and the mullet-sporting cowboy who amazingly made the song “Achy Breaky Heart” into a smash hit in the ‘90s (Miley’s Dad, Billy Ray). Now, however, The Mouse House is looking to back the Brinks Truck up to the box office with this motion picture extravaganza. In this G-rated musical-comedy spun from the Disney Channel series, young musical superstar Hannah Montana (Miley Cyrus) heads to her downhome Tennessee hometown after her alter-ego’s popularity begins to take over her life. The Plus: The franchise. The Hannah Montana 3-D concert film The Best of Both Worlds broke records at the B.O. The Minus: The competition. Going into this holiday weekend, expectations will be high for Hannah Montana to hit some lofty numbers…so high, in fact, that a loaded box office may keep Disney from achieving such numbers.

 Observe and Report

Seth Rogen, Anna Faris

 

Following the back to back to back successes of Knocked Up (actor), Superbad (actor/writer), and Pineapple Express (actor/writer/producer), funnyman Seth Rogen could pretty much get a funny valentine to Taxi Driver or raunchy version of Paul Blart: Mall Cop greenlit with very little guff from H’Wood execs. And, perhaps, he has done just that with his latest, Observe and Report. In this R-rated comedy, a self-important head of shopping mall security (Rogen) squares off in a turf war against local police officers (Ray Liotta, et al). The Plus: The star. Rogen has also lent his pipes to the B.O. successes Horton Hears a Who, Kung Fu Panda, and Monsters Vs. Aliens. Next up, he is playing the lead in The Green Hornet and mentor Judd Apatow’s Funny People with Adam Sandler. Also, the comic graces of Anna Faris (Scary Movie, The House Bunny) should only help matters. The Minus: The odds. Rogen does not exactly have a perfect track record lest filmgoers forget his writing/producing flop Drillbit Taylor…and the underwhelming gross of Zack & Miri Make a Porno.

 

Reviews (Now in Release):

 

Fast & Furious

Vin Diesel, Paul Walker

 

So much disbelief has already been suspended before strapping into this high-octane actioner that the film series could pretty much pull a Moonraker – incorporating Saturn rockets for modified cars on a racing circuit – and filmgoers would shrug if off in-between gulps of popcorn. Amazingly and infuriatingly enough, Fast & Furious nearly maxes out this line of credit…but not until first diverting the audience’s attention away from such pish-posh as the laws of physics and common sense with enough bright colors and shiny things to light up the eastern seaboard. Oh, it is a lemon of a story, but the after-market trappings will doubtlessly keep filmgoers invested so long as the adrenaline rush keeps up.

 

In this PG-13-rated actioner, two former rivals – one a hijacker (Diesel) the other a Fed (Walker) - reunite to outmaneuver a common enemy in a drug trafficking operation.

 

The standard, however, was never THAT high. If John Q. Filmgoer enjoyed the first preposterous go-round (think: Point Break with car racing substituted for surfing), than this overblown follow-up (coming after 2 Fast 2 Furious but before Tokyo Drift) should deliver an even sweeter ride…so long as it keeps moving. There are car chases galore, scenery-chewing amour, and four-on-the floor. When it brakes, however, the engine sputters to a stop like a broken-down jalopy. Then comes the end. If all of the ridiculous plot points of The Fast & the Furious series were stood on end, they would stand knee-high to this laughable curtain closer.

 

Down-to-the-Wire: Slow-witted ride.

 

Adventureland

Kristen Stewart, Jesse Eisenberg

 

In the ‘80s, there were two standout types of comedy: funny but thoughtful and socially conscious romps like Fast Times at Ridgemont High and out-and-out dirty laugh-riots like Porky’s. John Hughes films, however, tended to stray this line of comic Demarcation with playful abandon (The Breakfast Club, Sixteen Candles). Set within the ripe-for-pickings confines of the Me Generation, Adventureland tends to embrace the best examples of the Hughes formula, a somewhat intelligent dick and fart comedy with a good hook. It is a predictable - but endearing – coming-of-age comedy that slow burns its way to some punchlines and ball-whacks its way to others…and thankfully, most of them hit the mark.

 

In this R-rated comedy written and directed by Greg Mottola, an uptight recent high school grad (Eisenberg) is forced to slum it and take a minimum wage gig at a local amusement park while pining for another park worker (Stewart).

 

Your reviewer grew up in the zeitgeist that permeates Adventureland, which explains why comedies like the brilliant ‘80s-set sitcom Freaks and Geeks resonates so well with him. It was a pop culturally lush time with little moral grounding (one character is even seen reading ‘80s satirical masterpiece Bonfire of the Vanities) and the carnival atmosphere of the titular amusement park does wonders to illustrate the ups and downs of its lovelorn main character during one particular summer. The soundtrack rocks, the stars hit their marks, and it is all headed to the expected conclusion. But what a way to go!

 

Down-to-the-Wire: Great adventure.

 

The Little Shop of Horrors

Jonathan Haze, Jackie Joseph

 

Roger Corman’s 1961 cult comedy about a lovelorn nerdy floral shop assistant (Haze) who invents a giant man-eating plant has been made near-classic by the musical adaptation that followed in the ‘80s. Still, the Z-movie splendor of a Corman picture is reason enough to feast upon this camptastic oddity (those expecting any singing—please exit the theater now). But did your reviewer mention that a young Jack Nicholson has a small standout role? Well, consider this point mentioned, dear readers–and that alone is worth sitting through this slice o’ kitsch-o-vision.

 

Down-to-the-Wire: Little wonder.

 

Duplicity

Julia Roberts, Clive Owen

 

In the solid R-rated Duplicity, two former intelligence agents relegated to the private sector (Roberts, Owen) team up to pull a con on rival hair care product corporations. As a whip smart spy comedy, the film has a number of strengths and they all lie with writer/director Tony Gilroy. With the aces legal thriller Michael Clayton, he imbued the story with a social consciousness that burned through the action’s white-knuckle intensity. Here, the consciousness is not as, well, conscious. The payoff for filmgoers comes in spades, however, and Roberts and Owen carry it through like a well-oiled confidence team. All involved help to build on a con that is – although never out and out great – at least really damn good.

 

Down-to-the-Wire: A good scam.

 

The Haunting in Connecticut

Virginia Madsen, Elias Koteas

 

 

In this PG-13-rated thriller, a family plagued by supernatural events (Madsen, et al) discovers that their house is a former mortuary with a dark past. The film begins with the proclamation ‘Based on the true story’ and continues to wear this boast like an Olympic medal throughout 94 painful minutes. This obviously untrue story is so silly that it makes The Amityville Horror look like Gone with the Effing Wind. Every trick in the horror book is used….if the book is a Boris Karloff coloring book. It is not frightening save for the moment the audience leaves the theater and realizes they just lost over an hour and half of their lives watching Casper shit the bed.

 

Down-to-the-Wire: Six feet under.

 

Knowing

Nicolas Cage, Rose Byrne

 

In this PG-13-rated thriller, Cage plays a professor who stumbles upon a time capsule with terrifying predictions about the future. Early on, Knowing shows great promise, giving filmgoers a calculated thriller predicated on the fact that a series of numbers could predict every major catastrophe in the earth’s history. It soon gives way to fantastical sci-fi phooey, however, and ultimately offers up about as much suspense as a broken calculator. The problems boil down to the screenplay, which has more chefs than a reality TV cook-off show. It will doubtlessly bait discussion (as all good art should), but the film’s set-up as a mathematics-derived psychological thriller held that much MORE promise.

 

Down-to-the-Wire: Fuzzy math.

 

The Last House on the Left

Tony Goldwyn, Monica Potter

 

In this R-rated thriller, two ordinary parents (Goldwyn, Potter) exact revenge on the vicious psychopaths who left their daughter for dead. With a few scary tricks up his sleeve, director Dennis Iliadis wrenches some breath-baiting thrills out of the material—mostly in stretching an R rating to its absolute breaking point. A revolting woodlands rape scene heavily flirts with turning the whole film into an NC-17 affair. What ultimately fouls the film up, however, is convention. EVERY trick in the horror cliché book is used. Unlike The Strangers, which used long single takes to create a nail-biting intensity, this flick simply relies on long scenes to create a sense of boredom. There are some scares worth the wait, however.

 

Down-to-the-Wire: Home wrecked.

 

Monsters vs. Aliens

Voices of Reese Witherspoon, Seth Rogen

 

In this PG-rated ‘toon, a motley crew of mutant heroes (Witherspoon, Rogen) is recruited by the government to save the earth from an evil alien invasion. Like a can of pop, Monsters vs. Aliens offers viewers a quick-fix sugar rush full of zing and bubbly…but also some empty calories. It has bombastic and smart alecky down pat—and the loveable knuckleheads to back it up. This flick tends to zero in on just the funny bone as opposed to the heart AND the funny bone. It is zinger-filled fun, yes, but the tiring effort hardly leaves the lasting impression of the better-rounded Pixar films. Brimming with some jokes that work and others that fall flatter than Lindsay Lohan’s career, the film needs star wattage to keep filmgoers invested.

 

Down-to-the-Wire: Monster mashed.

 

Race to Witch Mountain

Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson, Carla Gugino

 

In this PG-rated family adventure, a Las Vegas cabbie (Johnson) and UFO expert (Gugino) shepherd two young runaways with supernatural powers away from an alien assassin and a government agency. This anemic sci-fi kid flick that would have been shot back into space were it not for the bankable personality of its star, a man who apparently has enough star wattage to light up the eastern seaboard. Channeling the trippy model rocket whimsy of the ‘70s Witch Mountain low-budgeted twofer (Escape and Return, respectively) with a NASA-sized budget, director Andy Fickman gives filmgoers a romp that is, at times, too repetitious and involved (does the audience really need our heroes chased by the assassin, government agents, AND the cabbie’s former mob boss?).

 

Down-to-the-Wire: Rock of crud.

 

Taken

Liam Neeson, Maggie Grace

 

In the PG-13-rated action thriller Taken, Neeson plays a former government operative who uses his training to rescue his daughter (Grace) from a slave trade operation. Neeson believably kicks arse with the best of them, leaving all takers lying in the corner in a fetal position and crying like Nancy Kerrigan. If filmgoers thought Taken to have the emotional and intelligent resonance of a Kurosawa film, however…well, they may find themselves in much the same state. To say that the film strains credibility is to suggest that a film about a man who can easily infiltrate heavily funded, foreign, underworld organizations and kick their arse actually ever had credibility.

 

Down-to-the-Wire: Taken with a grain of salt.

 

Watchmen

Malin Akerman, Billy Crudup

In this R-rated ‘80s-set action/thriller, former costumed superheroes are being killed off, causing those who remain to don their disguises and uncover the truth. Ultimately, the breadth and scope of Watchmen is much more epic than the running time of a film can accommodate. With great vision by director Zack Snyder, the film assumes an appropriately noirish look, feel, and tone in deconstructing the superhero mythos. For a film looking to explore the human flaws of realistic heroes, however, they unbelievably kicked as much ass (and in as heightened reality) as 300. But filmgoers are left with table scraps as opposed to the actual feast. In an age when films-as-art are either deified or vilified in longer DVD cuts, however…more – not less – may be more.

Down-to-the-Wire: Watchable.

 

 

No comments

From the pages of Electric City and Diamond City, two of Northeastern Pennsylvania’s premier arts and entertainment publications, comes Richlier founder Jeff Boam’s weekly column:  

Previews (Opening this Weekend):

 

Fast & Furious

Vin Diesel, Paul Walker

 

When The Fast and the Furious hit screens in 2001, some critics were quick to point out that the film was nothing more than Point Break for gear heads (just substitute surfing with car racing and voila!). But John Q. Filmgoer liked what he saw…to the tune of over $144 million at the U.S. box office alone. This guilty pleasure’s success also helped to make Vin Diesel and Paul Walker bonafide movie stars. Next came the anemic but profitable sequels 2 Fast 2 Furious (with Walker flying solo) and Tokyo Drift (the best part of which is a short cameo by Diesel). Now, however, the original cast has seen the error of their ways (read: $) and reunited for a fourth go-around. In this PG-13-rated actioner, two former rivals (Diesel, Walker) reunite to outmaneuver a common enemy in a hijacking operation. The Plus: The franchise. 2 Fast 2 Furious netted over $127 million at the B.O. Tokyo Drift grabbed over $62 million…albeit without any bankable stars. Bringing back the original cast should make for a big haul come the weekend. The Minus: The gamble. New model? Original parts?! This sentiment does not include director Rob Cohen, who directed the original and just reignited the Mummy franchise. Helming duties for 4 Fast 4 Furious fell on Justin Lin, who directed Tokyo Drift—easily the weakest entry in the series. With a reported budget of $80 million, Lin will have to work hard to give audiences an out and out blockbuster.

 

Adventureland

Kristen Stewart, Jesse Eisenberg

 

There is possibly no director better prepared to helm a Spring breakout comedy than Greg Mottola. A protégé of Steven Ocean’s Eleven Soderbergh (who produced his first comedy, Daytrippers), Mottola cut his industry teeth directing episodes of Judd Knocked Up Apatow’s sitcom Undeclared and cult hit Arrested Development before taking on a lil’ ole comedy called Superbad. Funny enough, he also pulled acting gigs in comedies Celebrity and Hollywood Ending…under Woody Allen. In this R-rated comedy written and directed by Mottola, an uptight recent high school grad (Eisenberg) is forced to slum it and take a minimum wage gig at a local amusement park. The Plus: The players. Mottola aside, this film also features Kristen Stewart, who was virtually unknown when cameras started rolling on Adventureland. Since wrapping, however, she became a name player after starring in the B.O. sensation Twilight. Ryan Reynolds (Definitely, Maybe) Bill Hader (Forgetting Sarah Marshall), Kristen Wiig (Semi-Pro), and Eisenberg (The Squid and the Whale) are also on-board. The Minus: The competition. Fast & Furious will take top honors this weekend—no question. But is the multiplex big enough for this comedy to also wet its beak?

 

Reviews (Now in Release):

 

Monsters vs. Aliens

Voices of Reese Witherspoon, Seth Rogen

 

If you have ever gone to someone’s house and witnessed their little dog suddenly going berserk for a long stretch only to plop over from exhaustion, you are familiar with the films put out by Dreamworks Animation. Like a can of pop, their roster of pop culture savvy ‘toons (Over the Hedge, Kung Fu Panda) offers viewers a quick-fix sugar rush full of zing and bubbly…but also some empty calories. Monsters vs. Aliens, for instance, has bombastic and smart alecky down pat—and the loveable knuckleheads to back it up. Its characters aside, however, this flick tends to zero in on just the funny bone as opposed to the heart AND the funny bone. It is zinger-filled fun, yes, but the tiring effort hardly leaves the lasting impression of the well-rounded Pixar films (Ratatouille, WALL*E).

 

In the PG-rated AND three-dimensional Monsters vs. Aliens, a motley crew of mutant heroes (Witherspoon, Rogen) is recruited by the government to save the earth from an evil alien invasion.

 

God bless Seth Rogen. Over the course of the last few years, this comedian has built an amazing resume as actor (Knocked Up) and writer (Superbad). Now, he steals the whole damn show by voicing an aloof gelatinous bugger called B.O.B. All of the A-list voice cast pitches in and fills the shoes of their counterparts well, but Rogen actually elevates the material to some high-larious heights. Brimming with some jokes that work and others that fall flatter than Lindsay Lohan’s career, the film needs this star wattage to keep filmgoers invested.

 

Down-to-the-Wire: Monster mashed.

 

The Haunting in Connecticut

Virginia Madsen, Elias Koteas

 

When a thriller begins with an opening credits sequence stolen outright from the much better thriller called The Others, filmgoers know that they are headed right for the crapper. And sadly, the pics-of-the-dead opening sequence is the best part of this creaky horror film that has amazingly inspired a gag reflex in your reviewer. The fact that Oscar-nominated actress Virginia Madsen might have signed on for this dreck AFTER reading a script involving unburied bodies and a cancer-stricken boy able to see the dead means that she just might be dead inside herself.

 

In this PG-13-rated thriller, a family plagued by supernatural events (Madsen, et al) discovers that their house is a former mortuary with a dark past.

 

The film begins with the proclamation ‘Based on the true story’ and continues to wear this boast like an Olympic medal throughout 94 painful minutes. Every trick in the book is used. Doors slamming and lights going on and off? Check. Ghostly children popping in and out of frame? Double check. A religious figure who walks in and instantaneously knows what the hell’s causing such bedlam? Triple check. Everything neatly wrapped up with nobody headed into therapy after being sodomized by ghosts? Check, please. This obviously untrue story is so silly that it makes The Amityville Horror look like Gone with the Effing Wind. Worse, it is not frightening save for the moment the audience leaves the theater and realizes they just lost over an hour and half of their lives watching Casper shit the bed.

 

Down-to-the-Wire: Six feet under.

 

Duplicity

Julia Roberts, Clive Owen

 

In the solid R-rated Duplicity, two former intelligence agents relegated to the private sector (Roberts, Owen) team up to pull a con on rival hair care product corporations. As a whip smart spy comedy, the film has a number of strengths and they all lie with writer/director Tony Gilroy. With the aces legal thriller Michael Clayton, he imbued the story with a social consciousness that burned through the action’s white-knuckle intensity. Here, the consciousness is not as, well, conscious. The payoff for filmgoers comes in spades, however, and Roberts and Owen carry it through like a well-oiled confidence team. All involved help to build on a con that is – although never out and out great – at least really damn good.

 

Down-to-the-Wire: A good scam.

 

Knowing

Nicolas Cage, Rose Byrne

 

In this PG-13-rated thriller, Cage plays a professor who stumbles upon a time capsule with terrifying predictions about the future. Early on, Knowing shows great promise, giving filmgoers a calculated thriller predicated on the fact that a series of numbers could predict every major catastrophe in the earth’s history. It soon gives way to fantastical sci-fi phooey, however, and ultimately offers up about as much suspense as a broken calculator. The problems boil down to the screenplay, which has more chefs than a reality TV cook-off show. It will doubtlessly bait discussion (as all good art should), but the film’s set-up as a mathematics-derived psychological thriller held that much MORE promise.

 

Down-to-the-Wire: Fuzzy math.

 

The Last House on the Left

Tony Goldwyn, Monica Potter

 

In this R-rated thriller, two ordinary parents (Goldwyn, Potter) exact revenge on the vicious psychopaths who left their daughter for dead. With a few scary tricks up his sleeve, director Dennis Iliadis wrenches some breath-baiting thrills out of the material—mostly in stretching an R rating to its absolute breaking point. A revolting woodlands rape scene heavily flirts with turning the whole film into an NC-17 affair. What ultimately fouls the film up, however, is convention. EVERY trick in the horror cliché book is used. Unlike The Strangers, which used long single takes to create a nail-biting intensity, this flick simply relies on long scenes to create a sense of boredom. There are some scares worth the wait, however.

 

Down-to-the-Wire: Home wrecked.

 

Race to Witch Mountain

Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson, Carla Gugino

 

In this PG-rated family adventure, a Las Vegas cabbie (Johnson) and UFO expert (Gugino) shepherd two young runaways with supernatural powers away from an alien assassin and a government agency. This anemic sci-fi kid flick that would have been shot back into space were it not for the bankable personality of its star, a man who apparently has enough star wattage to light up the eastern seaboard. Channeling the trippy model rocket whimsy of the ‘70s Witch Mountain low-budgeted twofer (Escape and Return, respectively) with a NASA-sized budget, director Andy Fickman gives filmgoers a romp that is, at times, too repetitious and involved (does the audience really need our heroes chased by the assassin, government agents, AND the cabbie’s former mob boss?).

 

Down-to-the-Wire: Rock of crud.

 

Taken

Liam Neeson, Maggie Grace

 

In the PG-13-rated action thriller Taken, Neeson plays a former government operative who uses his training to rescue his daughter (Grace) from a slave trade operation. Neeson believably kicks arse with the best of them, leaving all takers lying in the corner in a fetal position and crying like Nancy Kerrigan. If filmgoers thought Taken to have the emotional and intelligent resonance of a Kurosawa film, however…well, they may find themselves in much the same state. To say that the film strains credibility is to suggest that a film about a man who can easily infiltrate heavily funded, foreign, underworld organizations and kick their arse actually ever had credibility.

 

Down-to-the-Wire: Taken with a grain of salt.

 

Watchmen

Malin Akerman, Billy Crudup

In this R-rated ‘80s-set action/thriller, former costumed superheroes are being killed off, causing those who remain to don their disguises and uncover the truth. Ultimately, the breadth and scope of Watchmen is much more epic than the running time of a film can accommodate. With great vision by director Zack Snyder, the film assumes an appropriately noirish look, feel, and tone in deconstructing the superhero mythos. For a film looking to explore the human flaws of realistic heroes, however, they unbelievably kicked as much ass (and in as heightened reality) as 300. But filmgoers are left with table scraps as opposed to the actual feast. In an age when films-as-art are either deified or vilified in longer DVD cuts, however…more – not less – may be more.

Down-to-the-Wire: Watchable.

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